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Funny stuff
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A man wakes-up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says,
'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness.
Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a multi-car accident…
You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but… something happened.
I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your penis was chopped off and we have been unable to find it.' :(
The man groans, but the doctor goes on,
'You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming.
We have the technology to build you a new penis that will work as well as your old one did – better, in fact!
But, it doesn't come cheap: It's $1000 an inch.'
The man perks-up at this.
'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want…
But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife.
I mean, if you had a five-inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine-incher, she might not like the extra stress.
But if you had a nine-inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five-incher, she might be disappointed.
So it's important that she plays a role in the decision.'
The man agrees to talk with his wife.
The doctor comes back the next day.
'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have,' says the man.
'And has she helped you in making the decision?'
'Yes, she has,' says the man.
'And what is it?' asks the doctor.
'We're remodeling the kitchen.'
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Sent by Keops on
21 April 2009 12:04
| 67 views |
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Vatican Press Release
“Be all Women informed that lying in bed, naked, entangled with somebody and screaming: "God!" or "Oh God!" or "My God!" or "Oh my God!" will NOT be considered PRAYING.
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Sent by on
24 March 2009 12:03
| 274 views |
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A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I coma one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorts the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," says the man. "Who talkin abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin my frienda how to spella MISSISSIPPI."
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Sent by Codryna on
17 February 2009 22:02
| 132 views |
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Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let one of you go."
Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."
Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."
Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."
...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay..."
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Sent by Codryna on
10 December 2008 23:12
| 451 views |
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